Wishes and a Better World
by JasperK
Summary: A dark dream sends Meryl out to find light to lift her heart.


Meryl woke as the first sun rose and poured light into her hotel room. Milly was already up and had opened the curtains. For once, she was glad of waking, even though she was still tired. She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, then peered around the brightly lit room, the only other furniture was a chest of drawers and Milly's neatly made bed against the opposite wall. Meryl tried to work out why she was so relieved to be awake; usually she did not need to think about it. She would wake, get up and go about her day. Today, she had had a very strange dream, and something had disturbed her. She frowned across the sunlit room, to where Milly's bag lay on top of her bed, already packed. Oh. Yes. They were leaving today. Vash had said he wanted to catch the afternoon bus... Vash! She felt her heart leap in her chest, not out of any warm remembrance, but in utter dread. That was what her dream had been about!

She threw off her covers and ran out into the hotel passage. Room three zero nine. She found his room and shoved open the door. The room was empty. The bed sort of made, he'd dragged the sheets straight, and his duffle was lying on the floor beside it. She breathed out and shakily walked over to his bed and sank onto it. She toed his duffle with her bare feet and flopped back on the bed to lie against the pillow he had slept on. Yes, it smelled like him. The relief that flowed through her refreshed and revitalised her, but did not quite lift the anxiety she had been glad to escape on waking. She had dreamed that he never had existed. Her mind had relentlessly played every memory of him without him in it. She could not remember much of the dream, but it had left a pall of bleak desperation and hopelessness so strong it had sickened her. She took another deep breath, pondering how life was without his smile and spark of energy and mischief to turn things somehow to the better. And he made the pillow smell good. She blinked and hastily pushed herself upright, blushing furiously. She had not just thought that! She caught sight of her bare legs sticking out of the long sleep shirt she wore. What if Wolfwood or Vash returned to this room and found her like this? She picked herself up and hurried back to her room, feeling both elated and bewildered.

She dressed hastily and sat staring at herself in the mirror as she adjusted her earrings, then applied makeup. She couldn't contain herself. The odd relief on finding that the empty life had been only a dream was slowly turning into something like delight. She had to find Vash. She just wanted to see him, perhaps that would settle things in her soul. She caught a very happy smile on her face and scowled at herself in the mirror as she performed one last check then hurried out.

None of her travelling companions were in the dining room, so she skipped breakfast and walked out into the streets as the second sun made an appearance. She smiled, feeling the warmth on her skin. She loved early mornings where the sunlight was pleasantly warm instead of blazingly hot. They were staying in a farming town and today most of the populace were setting up a market in one of the squares, so the streets were filled with cars, trucks and tomas's, the general store was already open and had a queue of people outside it. She found Milly waiting in the queue outside the post office and waved at her. She walked on down the main street, searching the shops. She found the bakers and hurried inside, but Vash was not there. As she turned to go, the bakers assistant put out a large tray of fresh doughnuts. Her stomach grumbled as she remembered she hadn't had breakfast. She hurried over.

"A dozen please!"

Clutching the packet of doughnuts, she continued her search while eating one. Oh, they were fresh and warm and the cinnamon and sugar sprinkled on it was just sweet enough. She licked her fingers as she passed the tobacconists. Wolfwood was busy trying to negotiate the price of tobacco, he had his portable confessional out and the tobacconist was looking mildly interested. Meryl wished the man luck; she had seen Wolfwood negotiate things so that he got a paid confession, as well as a free sample of whatever he was wanting for charity.

She arrived at the market square and had to step hastily out of the way as a large truck rumbled up. She found herself squashed at the back of a crowd of people who muttered complaints at the careless driver.

"How much did he have on him?"

"I'm looking, sheesh, hang on!"

Meryl turned to find four scruffy street kids pouring over a wallet. A rather familiar wallet. She reached over and snatched it from them.

"Oi, that's mine!" One yelled at her another tried to snatch it back.

Meryl raised an eyebrow and quickly flipped through it. She was about to give it back, as she couldn't prove that it belonged to whom she thought it did when she noticed a photograph. She pulled it out and turned it around for the kids to see.

"Why do you have a photo of me?"

They fled.

She looked at the photo. It was a group shot of Wolfwood, Milly, Vash and herself looking happily mellow in some saloon. She vaguely remembered the saloon, but had not realised that Vash had bought the photographs the man had been taking. She put it back in the wallet. So he was around here somewhere.

She elbowed her way through the press of people until she heard shouts of children's laughter and a very familiar voice yelping in pain. She found Vash at the bottom of a pile of children.

"We caught the robber!"

"Cops and robbers again?" She asked, and Vash twisted his head around and grinned up at her.

The kids eyed her suspiciously.

"Ooh!" Vash declared and pushed himself up, lifting at least six kids without apparent effort, they scrambled off his back complaining. "We have doughnuts!" He declared happily and they clustered around him and Meryl. She handed him the package for him to distribute the contents.

"A-ah."

She glanced up at his disappointed face.

"Here." He held out the package, revealing only one doughnut left.

"I had one on the way here; they were for you, so it's yours."

The light in his eyes and the happy grin across his face made her remember how she had felt on waking that morning. She stared at him, drinking in his expression, as he gobbled his doughnut.

"iff shoo good." He declared with his mouth full.

She wanted to capture this moment, so that she could remember how happy he looked. No, not quite. She wanted to distil the happiness so that she could wave it like a flag of defiance against the despair she had dreamed.

"What's wrong?" Vash asked and felt his face, as if searching for what had made her stare.

Meryl could not quite catch her blush, and glared at him.

"You." She said shortly and held out his wallet. "Some street urchins were about to share the spoils."

Vash took it slowly from her with a sudden sad expression in his eyes.

"Where did you see them?"

"Over there." She pointed to the far end of the market.

He slipped his wallet into his pocket and handed one of the sticky faced kids in the group around him a ten double dollar bill.

"Go and buy your friends who ran off some doughnuts."

The boy stared at him, his eyes wide.

"But they stole from you." He said in stunned shock.

"Do they like doughnuts?"

"Er, yes?" The boy said.

"What are you waiting for?"

The boy crumpled the money in his fist and ran.

Meryl smiled at Vash. She could not help it. Despite all people did to him, he still wanted to help them.

"You're happy today." Vash remarked as they walked through the market together.

Meryl scowled at him.

"Scary!" He yelped and stepped sharply away from her, and as much as that irritated her, she could not help laughing.

"I'm glad you're happy." He smiled. "I had an odd dream last night, where there was just me, walking through towns and villages all alone. There were no people anywhere." He laughed. "It was a relief to wake up and find everyone still here! I had to get out to see them all."

Meryl blinked. In some ways, it was the same dream; both had taken the dreamer's point of despair. She looked away, how had Vash managed to wriggle his way into her heart in such a manner that his absence created such desperation? She was certainly not going to tell him she had sought him out and bought him doughnuts for the same reason.

"A good thing we can wake up, isn't it?" She murmured to herself, turning her face to the suns light.

"Oh yes!" He replied. "Awake we can make the world better, in dreams we can only wish."


End file.
